Walking in Pete’s Shoes

During this past year, I got to know a lovely, caring person, my good friend Becky. That’s Becky in the photo (far left) holding my granddaughter Lily. It was my privilege to get to know Becky and her family – husband Ron, sons Tom and Jeremy, and family pets ‘Face and Violet. My young friend Taylor describes Becky as “thoughtful.” Becky is the kind of friend who always has time for a chat and a cup of tea.

In addition to Ron, Tom, Jeremy, ‘Face, and Violet, I got to know another member of Becky’s family, her son Peter. Peter was crazy about basketball, shoes, and his girlfriend Karen… and he was committed to being a kind and compassionate person. After Peter passed, Becky and her family and Karen committed themselves to passing on Pete’s unique way of looking at the world. Please visit their website, Walking in Pete’s Shoes, here.

One way that Becky and her family are celebrating Peter’s life is by passing out small cards (photo right) that ask the recipient to pass along kindness. You don’t have to have a card to participate (although you can contact Team Pete for cards – check the website for more info). Just passing along the kindness that’s shown to you honors Pete and his family and friends. It also makes the world a better place, just as Peter did.

Becky’s son Tom does his part to pass along kindness. Turns out Tom is a remarkable baker and is locally famous for his cookies. Nothing cheers me up like receiving a plate full of Tom’s cookies. Tom loves to cook and often cooks for his friends before Remembering Group meetings (read on). His friends particularly like his spaghetti.

Becky also founded, along with her friend Mary Margaret, The Remembering Group (website here). The Remembering Group helps adults with special needs deal with loss in their lives. One of the things I came to realize  after visiting with the group is that for persons with special needs, a death in the family often means a change in residence, and sometimes not for the better. Getting to know the members of this group enriched my life and brought me joy.

Just like Becky herself.

You might just make it after all!

My dear friend Elizabeth, who will become an ordained elder in the United Methodist Church this June, knit me a wonderful hat in University of Cincinnati colors as a going-away gift. The gift included yarn to knit a matching scarf. The photo below right shows Elizabeth’s exquisite handiwork and proof that I really am knitting a matching scarf.

Elizabeth said she wanted me to toss the hat, ala Mary Tyler Moore (photo left), in an appropriate spot in Cincinnati. Moore tossed her hat at 7th Street and Nicollet Mall in front of what is now Macy’s department store. In 2002, TV Land erected a bronze statue there depicting the famous toss.

I told Elizabeth that Fountain Square would be the Cincinnati equivalent of a great place for hat tossing, and I plan to do just that… whenever I find Fountain Square. I know it’s around here someplace. And who knows? Maybe someday they’ll erect a bronze statue of me, right on the very spot. I might just make it after all.

WWII Knitters

Drivers of the French Ambulance Corps near the fighting zone, waiting to be called (Italy, 1944). ~Robert Capa photo

Transitions

Red Sea Crossing by Kathryn Cramer Brown

Transitions are difficult. We imagine that crossing over to the other side into the unknown requires courage and persistence, but the truth is, most of us enter into transition only when we’re forced into it. The Israelites rushed toward the Red Sea because Pharoah’s Army and the threat of death was close on their heels  (Exodus 14).  Even as they stood on the shore as the sea parted and they glimpsed the Promised Land on the other side – as Kathryn Cramer Brown’s Red Sea Crossing depicts (above) – I imagine they hesitated, if only for a moment. Because we all know that no matter how great things look on the other side, the journey there is never easy. Most of life comes down to the choices we make and the hope we hold in our hearts as we make them.

Helen Keller Quote

Thus it is that my friends have made the story of my life. In a thousand ways they have turned my limitations into beautiful privileges, and enabled me to walk serene and happy in the shadow cast by my deprivation. ~Helen Keller in The Story of My Life

Driving Home

Folk singer Cheryl Wheeler’s song “Driving Home” on the cd of the same name has always reminded me of home. For someone who has moved as much as I have, home has truly become the place where I hang my hat… unless I hear Wheeler’s song. Suddenly I’m an 11-year-old girl flying down the WV Turnpike in my Dad’s cherry red Chevy Impala as our family heads for a new start in North Carolina, promising that someday I’ll be back.

For the first 11 years of my life, I lived in Ravenswood, WV, and it turns out that’s the longest I’ve ever lived anywhere. Ravenswood is a small town situated on the Ohio River. I was born in Gallipolis, OH, because the nearest hospital, Holzer, was across the river. (Note: To get to Gallipolis, you took the Silver Bridge at Pt. Pleasant, a bridge which became legendary when it collapsed in 1967. The Silver Bridge collapse also plays a role in the 2002 Richard Gere/Laura Linney film The Mothman Prophecies.)

I grew up on the Ohio River, spending many childhood days playing on its banks, watching the ferry shuttle cars across on their way to Ohio and points beyond. And everyone I knew wanted to grow up and go to Cincinnati, just follow Route 52 along the banks of the Ohio right into The Big City. So it’s no wonder that Wheeler’s song resonates with me as I begin my journey to relocate in Cincinnati.

In honor of my new life in The Big City, where husband Mark and I will live on the edge of the University of Cincinnati campus on the second floor of a 1920s Rust Belt mansion, I am returning my blog to its old name, Hands to Soul, since a yellow micro-bus seems more Virginia Beach than Cincinnati. And I’ll replace Robbin Thompson’s “Sweet Virginia Breeze” with Wheeler’s song and The Pretenders’ “My City Was Gone” (“I went back to Ohio…”) on my iPod. And thus a new chapter begins.

Josh On Dan Nation

Son Josh blew his dad back in his recliner when he made a phone-in appearance on The Dan Patrick Show yesterday. Husband Mark was just sitting at home concentrating on Patrick’s discussion of the beating quarterbacks Brett Favre and Kurt Warner took during last weekend’s playoff games when Dan said, “Josh from Virginia Beach, you’re on the Dan Patrick Show.” Josh replied, “Dan Patrick. One small step for radio, one giant step for hair.” Go here to listen to the January 29, 2010, show.

I was particularly glad to tune in as Dan, a native of Cincinnati, gave me a bit of a cultural education about Cincinnati. Referring to the New Orleans expression “Who Dat?”, Dan pointed out that Cincinnatians say, “Who Dey?” or more correctly, “Hu-Dey!” Evidently, once upon a time, Hu-Dey beer was sold in the stands of all Reds and Bengals game, so when a fan ran out of beer, he or she hollered, “Hu-Dey!” No wonder moving is so stressful… so much to learn, so little time.

Who would’ve thought a guy with such great hair would be so smart?

Listen Up!

Last Sunday’s Weekend Edition on NPR featured a cappella group Sonos. The group released a new album last September, SonoSings (see left). Especially intriguing is the group’s grown-up version of the Jackson Five’s “I Want You Back.” (For a trip down memory lane, go here for the Jackson Five’s 1969 appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show.) To hear a snippet of Sonos’ version, go here, then download the full-length version from your favorite mp3 provider. For the interview on Weekend Edition, go here.

In Virginia Beach, we enjoy two NPR stations with some wonderful local programs. One such program is Sinnett in Session hosted by jazz musician and local celebrity Jae Sinnett. That’s my favorite photo of Jae on the right taken when he posed for the Hampton Roads edition of Skirt! magazine. For more photos of Jae, visit his website here. Jae is also an excellent cook, making him a candidate for The Perfect Man. At any rate, I caught his show the other evening and heard a nice rendition of the old Bill Withers’ hit “Ain’t No Sunshine” performed by the Billy Childs Trio. You can find the  Billy Childs Trio’s version on their album Speak Like a Child (photo left) as well as Bedtime Stories. Listen to Bill here and to the Billy Childs Trio here.

Another local public radio gem is Hearsay with Kathy Lewis. Kathy recently hosted a program on the handicrafts movement chronicled by Faith Levine in her movie Handmade Nation. (Read more about Faith and her movie in my October 26, 2009, post.) You can download the podcast of Kathy’s January 15, 2010, broadcast here. The broadcast also features Erin Bried, author of How to Sew a Button: And Other Nifty Things Your Grandmother Knew, a Money-Saving, Heart-Warming, Life-Simplifying Guide (photo left).

And last but by no means least, Corinne Bailey Rae (photo right) has released a new cd. The Sea is Rae’s sophomore effort and follows the 2008 death of Rae’s husband, jazz musician Jason Rae, from an accidental overdose. Rae says her latest cd (photo left) is a journal of her grief and is quite a contrast to her Grammy-winning Put Your Records On. Rae recently appeared on The Tavis Smiley Show. You can watch the interview here.

Play nice!

In the late 1980s, Robert Fulghum struck a note with all of us when he wrote All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. Fulghum’s book came on the heels of our obsession with designer clothes (remember the need for that alligator on your shirt?) and living like the rich and famous (as depicted on tv shows Dallas and Dynasty). Some legitimately argue that it was the decadence of the 80s that got us where we are today.

But neither Fulghum’s folksy wisdom nor the current harsh financial circumstances we’re experiencing seem to get it through our thick heads. People, we are all in this together.

We can sit on our own personal self-righteous islands and point fingers, but we’re just deluding ourselves. Like the teabaggers on Medicare who protest government subsidies for health care, we’re confused in a really fundamental way. Rushing to the front of the line to get mine while knocking others out of the way doesn’t prove that I’m entitled or deserving. It just proves that I’m a rude, ignorant jerk.

When I express these views, people often agree with me but then say that if those other people would only shape up, all would be right with the world. Well, here’s a news flash. We ARE those other people.

Let’s start a revolution and set the world on its ear. How? Let’s start by playing nice. We can use good manners and be courteous. We’ll think before we speak (or forward or text). We’ll show some respect. We’ll surround ourselves with tv and music that challenges us to do better or makes us laugh. We’ll paint pictures and read to a child.  We’ll take walks to cool off. We’ll focus on what’s important.

And when we see the less fortunate, if we can’t find it within ourselves to help, we won’t make it worse by looking down our noses. We’ll remember that we all need a little help sometimes. Because people, we’re all in this together.

A Pledge of Allegiance

As an American, I pledge that on my watch, to the best of my ability…

No child and no poor, mentally ill or elderly person shall go without food, shelter, medical care and legal representation.

No disaster victim shall wait unaided; no vaccines will be hoarded during epidemics.

No bigotry shall go unchallenged.

No opportunity for peace will be overlooked.

No one shall be prevented from access to education, employment and housing, participation in military service, or the freedom to speak out. All spiritual seeking shall be respected; all human attempts of lovingkindness shall be celebrated.

Speaking truth to power will be my credo, so I will not stand idly by as the rich and powerful perpetrate their greed upon others, taking even from the poor to ensure their wealth.

While others debate and argue, smirk and name-call, I will spend my energy working for justice.

I pledge this because, to me, this is democracy.